I have never written or considered writing blogs. I have always found comfort and benefit in journaling my thoughts, and thought I would give blogging a try. So here it goes...
I have found myself asking a question the last year or so. Well, ever since moving to Indiana. I did not realize it is something my heart and spirit have been asking until here recently. The question is, "Who knows me?" "Who gets me, my heart?" In moving I left or moved away from some amazing friends and amazing people. It is something I have had to do often in my life, so I knew that God would set me in the right place with the right people.
I find myself in this season of my life crying out for someone to know me. Someone to get me. I am very satisfied in my husband knowing me, getting me. Yet I cry out for more, for friends to know me and to get me. I find this need to be great, yet I put up walls. I put the guard rails around my heart and thoughts that prevent them from knowing me. I revisit in my memory the friends I have had over the years that I have allowed to get to know me, and that did get me. I am so beyond grateful for these amazing women of God that will always be a part of my life from a distance due to geography. So I find myself meditating and reminding myself of the power of my favorite Scripture.
My favorite Scripture is Psalm 139. "O Lord, You have searched me and you know me. You know when I sit and rise; you perceive my thoughts from afar. You discern my going out and my lying down; you are familiar with all my ways. Before a word is on my tongue you know it completely, O Lord. You hem me in---behind and before; you have laid your hand upon me....Where can I go from you Spirit? Where can I feel from your presence?...Search me, O God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts. See if there is any offensive way in me and lead me in the way everlasting."
He sees my fears. He hears my cry. He has set me in this place, at this time, for this moment. I choose to walk by faith that He is putting things in motion to answer this cry for me. I am extremely thankful that I have a God who KNOWS me, and still wants to be my friend. I choose to trust God, and know in Him I can and will let down my guard.
Father God,
I choose to believe You have people lined up for me to experience great friendships with here in Indiana. I don't know how these friendships will form, or who they will be. Yet I know you are faithful, and You have heard the cry of my heart. You know my humor, my heart, my passion, my weaknesses, and who would be the people who could and would add to my life. Help me to be able to be the friend, the addition to others' lives too.
